Resistance Hertz
by C.F.Winchester. Finalage
Summary: An actual story exploring a crack pairing I have yet to see materialize, one that is close to my soul. Satomi Hakase and Negi Springfield! *What the hay? Are you drunk, Finalage?*
1. i: Nine Pins

**_+O-N-X+_**

_Damnit…my first chapter, the prologue, went kaput, now I have to rewrite it! Well, here we go; trying to rewrite something…it's going to go astray! This is a re-write of the prologue to "Resistance Hertz." Finalage._

**_+-N-+_**

**_Prologue: Nine Pins_**

**_+-RH-+_**

_The sun rose above the crystal blue sky-wait a second…who the hell wrote this, some half as- The sun can't rise above the sky you idiot-…Okay, okay, mister author, you win, I'll read your crap. Anywho, the sun rose in the crystal blue sky-_

_*A pistol is heard*_

_There we go…don't go doing your job half assed. Besides, I did say it rose in, not above, blind arse. *Sigh* Looks like I'm stuck narrating again. I don't get any breaks, but neither do I give my characters any, don't I? Onwards! _

_In the darkness of the dorm room, one could only hear the soft snoring of one figure, a beautiful summer playing over in her head, ahh, but all things are inevitable, aren't they? Satomi's glasses rested on her hair, pushed there in the night by some effort or other as she snoozed on her desk._

Didn't she had some kind of school to go to?

_Ahh yes, she did._

_Even as she thought that, a monster entered into her dreams, destroying her very thin ice of tranquility, making her scream and shoot up to the cacophony about her, the blaring of fanfare and horns, the cataclysmic form of sound, so rakish in her ears-oh, it was just her alarm clock…_

_How long had that been going on? She had no idea…and wouldn't until she found her glasses._

_Wherever the infernal glassed things where._

_What had her dream been about? God, she was so close! That latest project only needed one missing element, one little piece of something, and she just had it! She must find it, it was in her dream, and she knew it! Hell bent on discovering this development, she grit her teeth. That infernal alarm!_

What a din!

_With a single swipe, her hand sent the thing flying off the table to clash into the cursedly forgiving, carpeted ground, where it continued its infuriating blare._

_Yawning, her glasses fell on the desk she had been using for a pillow, almost getting demolished by a wandering elbow. Ahh, so that's where they were. She jabbed them irritably back on her nose, bringing the entire world into focus._

_Her eyes alighted upon one thing in particular, that clock. The ever inscrutable scientist couldn't help but widen her eyes at the sight._

_Ahh, she would be far more than fashionably late if she didn't hurry! Why bother however? First days were just for lectures, introductions…ahh, but she must. It was the tribute to her waning sanity that she indulge upon her mentor's time, if for no other reason than to humor them._

_She cast about for her towel, and failing to see it, screwed it to hell as she simply picked up her uniform and went into the shower anyway. She'd go wet. It wouldn't be the first time…and certainly not the last. She neglected to see that her towel was laying upon the very desk she had been sleeping upon, providing a kind of extra pillow as she tossed off her lab coat, but then, that was just her eyes._

_Rushing in and turning on the water for the shower, she yelped upon the realization of two things. One, she was still completely dressed, and the other, the water was hotter than all hell! Fire and brimstone, right on her poor head!_

_The water shut off almost instantly with an irritable snap before Satomi stripped, tossing her clothes out of the shower, in the general direction of the sink, of course, some landed in the trash, but such was life. Again, she turned on the water, the beads splashing against her glasses._

_Still hot as hell, but that was good, let it wake her up some._

_She shot out when she was finished, almost failing to open the door in time and slipping up over her own two feet, along with a random shoe, as she ran, prompting her to fall, naked, on the floor, painfully. She got up slowly, staring at the mocking clock, and its infernal realm of intolerable time. She would get through this day, mark her words!_

Life, you are a true ass, sadistic and cunning, but simply an ass.

_The clock only turned just one minute later in a crescendo of laugher. Satomi almost smacked her face against the door when she went back into the bathroom for her clothes, she was a poor soul, one that seemed to believe rushing through a day provided the same result as one would achieve rushing through a report._

_Days didn't finish faster based on how fast you go through them Satomi…time is a constant._

_Finally, she was ready, and she came back into sight of her clock hopping along, one sock on, the other not. Her hoping took her past that sole occupant in the room, the entity she wanted to utterly defeat. She rushed past her bag on the floor; it had been there since…god knows when._

_No, she didn't even care to realize her blouse was inside out, or even that her socks were two different colors, nay; these were little details, unimportant details. She rushed along, her glasses askew as she beat a path to school, ignoring intercom on tardiness and reaching her classroom, opting to take the closest door, the back, to rush in._

_Such was an unusual use of luck, for the front was rigged up, and the news flew as Satomi saw there was but no teacher there to be had at that ever present desk. Takahata had been replaced. Ahh! The new one was tardy then._

_Not that she was one to speak, he wasn't late, and neither was she, with a glance at the somehow present watch around her wrist. He just wasn't early. Ahh, then the front door was rigged for him…yes, that was right, she had forgotten. She sat down calmly next to Chao, her ever present partner in crime, looking about for Chachamaru, and feeling a slight disappointment to see her gynoid not there…_

_Ahh, but silence fell upon the room as footsteps approached, grinding to a full halt in front of the door. He…was here._

_The knob turned ever so loudly in the stock still room…_

**+-E-+**

_Have I ever said that I hate repeating myself? Gah! I redid this because the original somehow got replaced by the newest chapter. Grr...That's some good half hour down the drain. Anywho, welcome to My newest work, Resistance Hertz. This is a new thing for me, humorish-ishy ish stuff. Tell me what you think. Anywho…bout time I skedaddle. This was inspired by two things. One, I had this in my head a long time, and it is my favorite possible crack, although I have never seen it done before. Two…well; I suppose I was in a funny mood that day. I had just been rick-rolled for the first time, and well…I dunno._

_~Finalage, out!_


	2. Chapter I: Ball Bearings

_**+O-N-X+**_

_Yesterday, or today, I can't tell…but that day was the most active day I have ever seen for my stories. Not in hits, but feedback and activity. Only, I wasn't there to see it, darn. I went to bed at eleven and something just exploded on here. (Yes, I actually went to sleep early in an attempt to be rested, aren't you happy?) Anywho, let's continue this for a bit, neh? ~Finalage_

**_+-N-+_**

**_Chapter One: Ball Bearings_**

**_+-RH-+_**

The door opened quietly, and a small figure walked into the door, carrying a portfolio in one hand. He turned around to greet his new class, but he felt a tug on his foot, and looked down, his face darkening slightly. A…trip wire?

Uh oh…this wasn't good. He looked up to see an eraser fall. Smack on his head, for he didn't dare try to stop it with magic…he almost did…yet his eyes caught with another student, just before he allowed that chalk encrusted bauble consume his vision, coughing, sputtering, he took a step, forgetting the trip wire was there…ayi, a bucket fell right on his head, sending him tumbling with the throw of that wire, he could scarcely breathe.

The twang reverberated in that very bucket as he felt three projectiles collide solidly with his behind, sending him twirling, flying into the side of his new desk, what a way to say hi to the furniture, a way that the object did not appreciate as it sent a hail of office supplies upon him, including a painful blow by a paper weight, making him cry out for mercy.

If not for the poor bucket, which had to deal with the din of his howls, his world would have gone black with pain. The sound filled him, deafening him, his own howls, the cries of a child. His world was given light when he felt a hands press upon his legs, the bucket gingerly lifted from him to reveal the faces of several girls.

His poor tears were clear on his face, and he couldn't help but let out that typical, "uuuuuui~" sound of despair, prompting more of his students to grab him, pulling him in apology while physically only causing him more distress, he was surrounded by them, he couldn't breathe!

"Ooooh! Sorry, we thought you were our teacher!"  
_"Aww, he's crying!"_  
**"Where'd he come from? Where's his mom?"**

A child. A simple child. Ahh, the wonders of the genetic pool, there was a male child in their midst. Satomi half left her chair, but the boy had already been completely covered in a squirming mass of estrogen spouting bodies, why bother adding another?

"_**Satomi…"**_

Spinning around from the sight, she met eyes with Chao, and quietly returned to her seat as the other looked her up and down, a small smile playing on her face.

"_**You put on your shirt backwards again, yo."**_

Taking a glance, she couldn't help but realize she was right. Her hair was wet too…why…oh yeah, the shower.

_Little details. Unimportant details._

Above the din, Takahata brought himself into the mass, claiming the impossibility, the solid smack upside the head for the realm of common sense. This…was their new teacher. Ohh, the horror, the drama, the pure and utter hilarity of it all as the other struggled to even_ further_ push themselves upon him.

"This little thing? He's so _cute_!"

The laws of physics are thus tossed to the wind as the class glomped on him, stomping his body into what should have been an unintelligible mass of goo as the necessary space for his body disappeared, and yet, he lives.

But for how long? The storm, brewing in the corner until now, proves itself to be a fully fledged hurricane as it lands, right upon the poor boy's head as he is heisted up, up ahh, into the eyes of his aggressor, one Kagurazaka Asuna.

"_Okay you freak, what did you do with the eraser?"  
_"…Moi?"  
"_Save your fancy Greek words, what did you-!"_

"_**Actually, Asuna-san, it's French…but of course, I do not expect her to know that."**_

Satomi smiled at that aside comment Chao had mumbled. Poor girl would be as she was, a blithering violent, one that would come, most likely, to an untimely end…ahh, but what is this?

Ooh, her hair flew in his face, and the omen in the air was not kind as the boy reared back his head. She was no mage, Satomi, but she knew Magic, vaguely. At least, she knew that there was something…odd about her friend Chao, and her acquaintance, Evangeline…the boy let go a hearty sneeze, making Satomi duck as a garment flew her way, flying between her and Chao…was it her overcoat?

Since when was Asuna into speed stripping? For a ten year old too, such degenerative morals!

The teacher however, managed to somehow bring order to chaos amidst the clash of the morning bell. Asuna was led out of the room by Takahata, practically the color of strawberry ice-cream from head to toe as she bolted, eliciting her displeasure with one shrill yell that would forever scar the young professor's ears.

"O-okay class, if you could please turn to page two-two seventy five, we will…ahh…the board…"

Finally, physics reasserts itself upon the diminutive boy, as he disappears behind the desk to gales of laughter, unable to reach the ever escapist of a blackboard. Yes, Ayaka Yukihiro becomes the bane of the entire class, miraculously producing a footstool encrusted with flowers from, goodness knows where, her professing mouth perhaps.

Still, Negi accepted the gift with grace, and the class began in full. Asuna returned in her gym clothes, as her others had suffered violent defeat at the hands of ripping wind, and her glare at the back of Negi's head was laser fire, if not for his already fiery head, one would swear he'd be smoking in the ears by now.

Ahh, but the boy was a rigid one. An interesting toy to play with, as, despite his age, he seemed to know his stuff. Once he got over the general nervousness of facing a room full of the opposite gender, all older than his childhood physique, he proved to be a gripping voice telling his tale, peddling his "free" wares.

Of course, his spell was broken at the call of the bell, and once more he was just a little boy, once more sputtering, nearing incoherence, as the class began their mad dash to gather themselves to leave, for the next class of course, this had nothing to do with the fact he had yet to give homework yet…

Nothing at all.

The boy was left in the dust in an almost literal windstorm, gone in a flash of unnatural haste. Ahh, but of course, the boy, after having a slight moment of distress, settled down complacently, nicely shifting his weight to turn back to his board, dutifully writing down the homework on the board.

This was the homeroom, and they, the homeroom class. The joke was, inevitably, on them. Strike hard, strike fast, and watch your opponent tip you upon your ass.

**+-1-+**

Finally, to work! The restraints of school were complete, and the mission was thus accomplished! She rushed by her back, which was on the floor where she had left it since…god knows when, and picked up a few rolls of paper, preparing to skedaddle from the premises for the science department, only to pause at the sight of a pair of eyes. Ahh this was the bit she had overlooked.

Chao held up a very wet undergarment with a single gloved finger, fixing her friend with a look that wasn't too kind. Ahh, the glare of death was upon her! Yet still, by sheer density of will, Satomi was unaffected…or perhaps it was just the shiny glasses.

"_**This was in the trash, neh?"**_

Wait, wasn't that hers? Indeed, it was! Yet, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it, besides being wet, yet, it was in the trash, oh dear.

"I don't recall throwing that in the trash."

Of course not Satomi, life just didn't like your-ahem-. Itemized under attire.

"_**Your jeans are in the sink too…mind explaining that one?"  
**_"…Perhaps I attempted to wash them there?"

Chao, exasperated, sighed. Her friend was a true scientific genius, but alas, she was also a first class idiot when it came to anything else. The cruelty of the world, a true reason why all scientists brilliant enough are called mad.

"_**Satomi, you showered with your clothes on again, didn't you, neh?"**_

Her addressee was already at the door, and had somehow managed to procure a piece of toast along the way. It looked dejected as her eyes, large and curious, magnified to clownish proportions through her glasses, fixed on Chao, blank.

"I did? I suppose I must have, yes. I must go now Chao, I have my work to present, and a dissertation today…"

Ahh, if only her friend did not know the schedule like the back of her hand. She pointed to the Television, showing the date

"_**That was last week Satomi."  
**_"Gehh? The time flies me by worse than I thought, the damage is nigh irreparable, this progress will not be tolerated, I must go! Now!"

The other left amidst avid protest, protest that was ignored with such acuity one would swear it was purposeful, but Chao knew her partner just, quite simply, did not always have all the birds roosting in her tree.

"_**You went out without putting on a proper pair of pants…just the boy shorts. Ayi papi…oh well, you lab coat will suffice, I suppose the university students need a shake up now and again, dead as doornails when it comes to the energized drive I see in my class…still…" **_

Shaking her head, she looked about the dorm. What an utter mess, a tornado that raged through here every day, category Fujita six for Christ's sake. Most of it was Satomi's clothing too, as the scientist was prone to toss off/on clothes and go.

No time for common, mundane tasks, that was the motto.

**+-E-+**

_Again, it is a short thing-a-ma-bob. Yet, I still find it hard to focus on such a type of writing, and it is still far from actual funny. I'll get to the point sooner or later, but for now, the scene is set. What do you think? Do I bore you stiff? I told you, I'm not used to humor-ish-ishy-ish things with a light hearted sprinkle. Still, this is longer than the prologue at least. That's a good sign…I hope. I kinda skimmed over important stuff though._

_The project continues after an appalling amount of feedback, I thank you all for that. _

_~Finalage, out._


	3. Chapter II: Open Circuit

**_+O-N-X+_**

_Here we go again! This is surprisingly popular...and I find myself grabbing for material for this, but then it hit me. ...Why do I need to grab for material again? The thing's already in me head._

_(Remember Young Negi's pairing poll? Satomi and Negi being a personal favorite comment...yeah.)_

**_+-N-+_**

**_Chapter Two: _****_Open Circuit_**

**_+-RH-+_**

In the bustling cities of Mahora, one voice called out warning to the citizens fair, of diamonds and gold, of hopes torn, despair. Boldly, that voice spoke of pain, of the sky to fall down upon all eyes, sundering pillars, crumbling stone... The world was to end, and cacophony to rein, today, today, the blood shall spill!

Whoever listened to Chicken Little anyway?

Satomi ran with the wind, or, at least, as fast as her limbs allowed. Her lab coat flew around her as she leapt to cover the distance four more seconds would have her walk. She landed hard on her feet, for her arms were laden with books, and her glasses threatened to fly off her visage, they wouldn't hold up in this wind tunnel.

Swerving as best she could on the pivot of her hip, she almost caused a bicyclist to crash into a fruit cart, and as he glanced back, he crashed anyway at the sight he met from a flailing coat. She ran haphazardly, heading for the robotics department...she had to get there as quickly as possible, before anyone dared enter her premises...her work, her work!

She bolted up the steps nearing the fountain, and taking another turn as a speeding car might, she swerved, nearly colliding head on with another pedestrian, and clearly upsetting another's balance. Into the fountain they went, throwing up a spray that Satomi dutifully avoided, protests falling upon deaf ears.

Looking back… back to...do what again? Oh, forget it, it was too late anywho. Turning back however, she was faced with another problem, one of monumental importance. The ground had disappeared. In a fatal error, she had performed an act of negligence, and run until her angle projected her clean off the steps down!

_Oh my...in this case, one might very well say I would fall...about now...what's the word again? Oh yes...defecation..._

**+-1-+**

Negi Springfield was lost. Utterly, unavoidably and completely. There was no hope for him as he plunged further into the unknown, his only tool into the dark expanse of sun filled field being a fertile mind. His hands clutched a prized possession, handed to him by Gerardus Mercator himself...in other words a map.

His tiny hands could only shake in fear of the sheer immensity of the task he had been given, the herculean feat of finding his dorm room in such a bustling city was the pinnacle of all that had been put in front of him. Indeed, he had had been presented with the choice to fight that dragon he had always envisioned in times past...

If he could leave this behind, that dragon would be a tutu toting, dancing apple by now in comparison. His eyes were suspiciously wet, but the boy held firm upon the hand the controlled his water works, he had cried once today, he would not lose control of the rivers of time once more! Nay, such a transgression was unforgivable!

He had a reputation to uphold! A sister to make proud, a partner in crime to prove wrong! He'd be a mountain, unmovable! His eyes cast to the sky, he called his displeasure when a pigeon decided to poop and splatter upon his glasses. Gahh!

Murphy, the bast*rd was laughing at him. The world was mocking him, and he would not take it! The boy screamed his frustration to the empty air, achieving nothing but odd looks from passerby, a child belting his frustration, nothing but a temper tantrum. Where was his mother?

Must they always want to know! He cast his visage from their sights, tearing himself from their web of attention by running off the beaten path, into the true darkness of shade, trees. He ran until his breath caught in his throat, his bag jouncing along on his shoulders, his staff dropping until it tripped him up, sending him pitching upon the floor.

He mewled pitifully. Mean! The world was mean! Pick on the poor tired mage, go ahead, watch him cry! Infernal water from his eyes, salty on the tongue, don't you dare fall again! He looked up when he heard a scream, ripped from a throat, falling rapidly, he watched a girl literally run off the edge of a staircase.

It was one of his students, Satomi Hakase! Her pack, full of papers, flew one way, flying drunkenly as if flew, almost as if it were full of weightless stone. Tube posters flew in another as the girl herself became the main meteor to impact upon the ground, but no. Negi's instinct took over as his staff snapped out, his eyes wide, the bandaged ripping off in his haste.

His power pooled about him as he ran, striking out with a vengeance at fate, take that, you winged devil! Begone! His past troubles forgotten in a typical child way, the boy shot forward, arms wide to receive the package.

Of course, as light as Satomi was, her momentum and larger size throttled the little boy under her. She ended up sitting on top o him with her hands bracing herself up, and no idea what had just transpired, until a tell tale cry of the famous Niagara Falls letting loose made her lift a leg to look under her, and see Negi's face in an indecent place.

Of course, instinct would tell any sane girl to cover up, but Negi was already under there, so covering up would do nothing, and Satomi...she just stared. Not like Negi was caring much where he was, he only cared that he was in pain.

Of course, what would make this situation worse as Satomi removed her person from him would be passerby. Sharp eyed, nosy passerby; like Asuna Kagurazaka, who, for the second time today, had seen something she deemed unacceptable. A blasphemy to her little knowledge of the laws of physics it was…

Anyone knows that a monkey will get upset if you take away its bananas…

Asuna ran up, and in an indecent act of child theft, picked up Negi like so much rice and scampered away, leaving Satomi to stare at the whole spectacle. He had just saved her from breaking many bones…didn't he? Nice of him, but she did have to go…

Yet, Asuna did not look like she was planning anything nice with that boy. Indeed, her manner was similar to that of a serial rapist, and the scientist wouldn't put it past her…sighing, she gathered her things and opened her pack to stuff them back in, rubbing a sore spot on her thigh…and setting eyes on a remote.

_Ahh! I know how I can disintegrate two flocks with one laser here! _

Meanwhile…

Negi found himself slammed against a piece of botanical mass, namely a tree, by one manhandling mountain of a female in Asuna Kagurazaka. The brash girl just seemed to pop up everywhere, didn't she? Now, without so much as a peep, he would pass on peacefully into heaven. Hopefully.

"**You freak! What did you do to her? First the eraser and now this!"****  
**_"I...I have no idea what you're talking about!"__  
_**"You made her float, what are you, an alien…some kind of Newtype?"****  
**

Of course, even the dull can have their moments of brilliance; even coal can stab out your eyes, given enough time. Such was the case now, as Asuna set eyes on the staff that Negi had instinctually grabbed in her effort of spiriting him away. She let him loose, allowing him to fall on the ground, his hands feather touching the stick. An accusatory finger, the one that would dictate the fate of a world, pointed at him.

"**Are you…a mage!"**

Yet, despite his agony, his painful fear, the churning in his stomach, the boy was calm. Calm as he stood, for in his hands was his staff, his mind was clear. This girl…was more trouble than she was worth, and his manner was calm as he addressed her…

"_I'm sorry Kagurazaka-san. Now that you know…I can't let you live."_  
**"W-what?"****  
**_"What…? Oh, I'm sorry, did I say I can't let you live? I meant leave. You see-"_

The wind began to pick up, tossing his laces astray as his face took on a mask, of concentration above all as a small smile graced his face, Asuna, despite herself, took a step back…oh…_shit_. Yet, she had to swerve away for a crash through the trees made her turn around.

"_I'm not very experienced with this, so this might hurt…you also might forget a bit more than you should, please forgive me…you might even forget who you are..."_

It was…a Mecha? Looking at Negi, who was about to wipe her mind clean into a further oblivion than it already was, she felt trapped, and desperate to keep the little amount of sense she had as her stress level rose to near overload. The Mecha sped towards her and began its monotone as Satomi peeped through the trees.

"Let Negi-sensei go please, I don't approve of you being such a shotacon!"  
_"Now…Erase!"__  
_**"Kyahhhh!"**

To make matters worse, as Negi's spell did it's truly dirty work in erasing not the girls memories, but her undergarments, Takahata popped through the trees on his afternoon walk, just in time to send Asuna into a fit of distress, enough to shatter windows in the entire vicinity. Yet, Satomi's robot, with a single pound upon her already over taxed head, shut her up, in fact, the hit was so brutal, Satomi couldn't help but feel a little guilty, even as she grabbed Negi, seeing Takahata.

Shit, she was in trouble! The teacher had seen, and now…

"Satomi…? Why did you just…"  
"You'll never catch me alive!"

Bolting off with the young boy in tow, she began a merry chase in which, after displaying a fit of strength in blasting Asuna into Takahata, the Mecha joined. Of course, this meant that Takahata had to give chase, and he was soon joined by regular patrol, namely, Mana and Setsuna. What was the purpose?

A hit and run of course, and Satomi had a hostage to boot!

"_Uwahh…gah! Hakase-san, should we just stop and let them…if I explain…"  
_"Sensei, there is no such thing as friendly fire explanation, there is only run and deny! Binary refined, radix point zero, zero, one, zero…where the _hell_ am I?"  
_"You…you mean even __**you**__ don't know?"_

Satomi nearly cursed when she saw that it was Setsuna who had turned the corner, giving them chase. She yelled something about releasing Negi-sensei. Screw her! The demon didn't know the whole situation! Pushing her glasses irritably On her nose, she turned a swift corner and once more felt the urge to curse.

"70-85-67-75!"

At this moment, her remote decided to slip from her bag again, and her eyes alighted upon it as the boy messed with his staff. Negi was about to speak up, but she shooed him quiet.

"Forget about you magic for a quick second, and don't worry, I already know about that stuff, so no fancy memory wipes! Over here, verily, now!"

Negi had never made a worse decision in his life, but as Setsuna turned the corner and slowed, Negi clutched her in a hug he had no choice in engaging in. Setsuna's blade glinted in the low light.

"_**Come on Hakase-san…don't make me do this, please…let the sensei go…"**__**  
**_

Satomi just smiled; her bag on her back and her arms tight around her poster tubes. Her smile was calm, but the glint off her glasses was death. Shiny glasses technique at full power! Such was the power that even Setsuna was wary…her mad laughter further compounded her image, and any sane person would be struck with terror at the moment…

One such person being a whimpering Negi Springfield.

"I wonder what's faster Sakurazaki-san! Your blade… or my fingers!"

Indeed, her fingers were faster, as Setsuna lunged and Satomi pressed a button, her bag exploding outwards to grow…was it arms? Still, she didn't attack, only jumped up and over the other's charge, her bag sputtering once before coming alive with fire…it was a jetpack! A jetpack for Christ's sake!

Laughing all the way, Negi couldn't help but shrink into the other's waist, feeling her lab coat fly about him, hitting him with god knows what was in those pockets. He looked ahead only to nearly cry at the sight in front of him, and he could only barely get out the words for it.

"_Food Cart!"__  
_"Oh Please sensei, not now, if you are hungry then we shall eat later…still it is impressive that I can maintain such a speed as this with a dual load, It becomes apparent that the propulsion systems must be able to, inherently, adjust their throughput to meet the needs-"

Negi however, could only try to turn her head, pointing in front of her and prompting the scientist to look.

"_No! FOOD CART!"__  
_"Oh…indeed."

She tried to swerve, but it was too little too late, and amidst the screaming and yelling, the sounds of chase, the two exited the mess of wood and food with little injuries…of course, Negi had pink cupcake icing on his glasses, cherries becoming his new eyes. His mouth was full of pineapple slices to go along with his half banana nose.

Satomi, who was sporting some icing all over her face, looked at him with remarkably clean glasses and scolded him as they continued to fly.

"Oi, Sensei, Kleptomania is not a good trait to have in one so young! You eat like a pig! Spit it out!"

The wind took the cherries from his eyes, and he shook his head to rid his glasses the icing that stuck to his hair and spectacles…only to widen those eyes again when he saw Satomi was still looking at him, a pen magically having appeared in her mouth and one arm on the controls, the other attempting to make some kind of note or other…

WAS SHE INSANE?

"Increase the propulsion just..._soo_…and the angle deteriorates by _that_ much…"  
_"Hakase-san! Fish!"__  
_"Oh, you're still hungry after stealing that food? My, you'll get fat! I suppose you're a growing boy…"

Some icing from her hair, what must have been an apple pie, smacked into his face, prompting him to reel, sputtering. No, he wasn't hungry god damnit! This time, he did turn her head one armed.

"_FISH!"_  
"Oh my…You really need to work on you communication ski-"

She swerved and managed to avoid destroying the cart…barely, but the items on it...Satomi emerged this time with Sushi caught behind her glasses, turning her vision pink. Negi, barely hanging on, his clothes a mess, struggled to get rid of the slimy feeling in his back…he was sure some salmon or something must have gotten there.

He was horrified when he saw Satomi's position though.

"_Hakase-san…you've got sushi in your glasses!"_  
"Stop with your nonsense sensei…please. I can see perfectly fine...everything is completely pink."

If he could, he would have face faulted right then and there. He would have died of shock, become a white caricature in a colored world, become a statue frozen for all eternity in time. Yet, Satomi redeemed herself…somewhat.

"Hmm…it's not _supposed_ to be pink though. My eyes sting too…quite a lot…hmm…this _does_ pose a problem…what's the nearest building you see sensei?"

Yah think it's a problem? Negi looked ahead and paled…they were coming up to the next one fast…they were going to crash _into_ it! Squealing in a way that would make any pig jealous to high heaven, the boy yelled his fanfare to whoever wanted to hear, he wanted off the Satomi express, now!

"_It's a glass one, and we're gonna crash!"__  
_"Excellent! That must be the science department! How close to impact?"

Negi had enough…but he couldn't let go now.

"_We're gonna crash!"__  
_"Hmm…that doesn't help me much, sensei…"

Taking a sharp turn upwards just in time, they shot like a bullet, but Negi noticed that they were ever inevitably slowing…Satomi paid no mind as her pack coughed once and let out some smoke, she only licked her finger to test the air.

"Hmm…I estimate…ten meters, twelve…oh my, that's not good. Emergency measures must be taken!"

With a cough, her pack finally gave out and they both flew slightly sideways as Satomi used the last of her gas to fly into the building next to them, shattering glass as her pack frankly exploded…above it all, as glass cut them both, Negi could only scream.

Life really was _mean_!

**+-E-+**

_Why did this take so long to write? My good lord. I need to work on this. I have found another weakness! I can't have that now, can I? Well, here you go, how do yah like? Poor Negi, today just…isn't his day…this seemed rushed when I read it too… the dark writer, here again with his attempt at humor. _

_Another note. For some reason, while writing this thing in truth, I kept listening to "I'm Blue Da Ba Dee" Yes, I listen to all kinds of music…from metal and rock to this to classical…__don't ask. 70,85,67,75 is ASCII, you figure out the rest. Again, a bit longer. Maybe I'm getting better._

_You know an annoying fact? When you make a sentence that has more than one exclamation point at the end, Fan Fiction shortens it to one. The first one. This really dampens my ability to show expression...and messes up some sentence structure too, so please be aware if you see an odd sentence. _

_~Finalage out!_


	4. Chapter III: DB9 Shells

**_+O-N-X+_**

_You can tell that this is still difficult as I yo-yo up and down. This took too long to write. Very long, didn't it? Anyway, enough of that. Let's go, hopefully, I can get something moving. ~Finalage_

**_+-N-+_**

**_Chapter Three: DB9 Shells_**

**_+-RH-+_**

The crashing crescendo of sound was nothing compared to the pain that lanced through the hearts of men and women, pure, utter terrific pain as their hearts failed, for a few seconds, to beat. Breaths were caught, papers flew, and two biological masses assembled into the code called human skid along the floor, the mass of decimation, mechanical parts, becoming deadly ammunition, puncturing cubicle walls, punching out the wind from guts and the consciousness from heads.

No, I correct myself, the sound, the sound was far worse.

Negi shook himself like a dog, his entire body vibrating with both fear and pain. Everywhere stung, and he feared that the streak of red liquid he could see from the broken window to where he was would be mainly his. He couldn't tell his own injuries, he could hardly move. In such a situation, he felt the need to force down another bout of what was sure to be crying. No; enough of those things.

Satomi had a far brighter disposition, popping up after about a minute of shivering a bit, and only a single groan came from her. Although, wither or not this was due to true strength, or the fact the scientist was just one really crazed up fruit loop, remained to be seen.

Still, Satomi took one look around and cursed her luck.

"Gah! Just three more floors and the window would have been open! Arggh! Physics, you are a real bit- oh... hi."

The stupid biology department, that's where she was. One wary individual was watching her, his face just peeking over the horizon of a workbench. No more flying debris to impact upon his skull...right? The danger was far from over though, as the man fidgeted, feeling as if he did something wrong upon seeing Satomi there, burning, seething. He opened his mouth, and received a face full just for trying...

Shouting something akin to cooties, the girl picked up her groaning hostage, whom could have benefitted from the medical attention the very department he was in could have provided, but nay, the sensei's mind would not be infiltrated but such poison as the medical arts! Such a mind was rare at a young age, and it needed to be put to good use! TECHNOLOGY!

_"Hakase...sa...saaaaaan!"_

Oh, Negi wished he could close his eyes to it all, but the sad truth of the matter was, no matter how badly he wanted something, he just simply would not get it. Hakase had grabbed him, and now, facing off against the man in front of her, she showed that indeed, her technology was something to fear, for her shoes reconfigured themselves along the soles, growing, of all things, rockets...I mean come on!

The rocket powered skates fired up as the girl gripped tight on her charge, blasting past several gaping scientists as she beat a path through the normal geniuses of Mahora, not even caring as she approached the stairs, nope, she took a sharp turn, blasting into an elevator and bowling over two people carrying a cart, getting Negi drenched in some sickly green substance, bringing a fire in his soul as he yelped.

_"MY EYES, MY EYES, MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!"_

No one heard him as the doors slammed shut, directing them upwards three floors. She at least deactivated her shoes, for the din inside the elevator was bad enough as Negi moaned and continued to shiver from the pain. His eyes had actually distracted him...but he really wished he could cast some kind of healing spell for this...but he wasn't a healer, wahh!

No one heard the anguish of the scientists below, not even as one called out in horror that experiment 471 had been spilled... When the door opened, he was frighteningly silent; Negi was...and covered from head to toe in goo, glass doting his hair. Oddly enough, the blood was gone, although the same case could not be said for Satomi. She looked down at him, surprised.

"How did you get so messy now? Oh sensei, you really are a simple child..."

Adjusting her bloody (In more ways than one.) glasses, she walked through the opening, leaving Negi to follow silently behind, trailing goo. He didn't comment on her statement, by now he kinda realized there was no point... The pain was slowly fading away as he gave nervous glances to those around, Robotics' experts and engineers, techs alike simply freezing to watch the dirty pair walk on by.

A Romba failed miserably in trying to pick up the mess after them, chasing Negi's heels and sputtering over his goo, dying right on the spot with a pitiful mewl, tendrils of smoke drifting upwards as it's insides clogged. Satomi reached her treasured lab just as one of many lab techs had charged forwards, his way of trying to "wing it" into the unknown. He tried to stop upon Satomi's appearance, but his brakes weren't all that good.

Negi surprised them all by flashing out his bandaged staff, catching him in the midriff and knocking the wind from him, he dropped on the spot. Negi felt good, considering he had just crashed through a window with such catastrophe. In fact, he felt uncommonly good, standing there, covered in goo.

Satomi had paid the confrontation no mind, looking for her key card and failing miserably. It was around her neck, under her shirt, but try telling her that. Negi watched her, quickly becoming irked by her blunt headedness and stabbing his staff out again, displaying an amount of strength that could only come from magic and blasting the door open.

Now Satomi paid attention to him, truthfully seeing him for the first time since they had crashed into that building...how long had it been since that goo was on him, and what was it exactly? How had all that blood simply disappeared? She almost shrugged it off, walking into her lab with Negi in tow...almost.

She stopped full force when she met Chao's face though. Oh...right. She could have knocked. Chao though, wasn't looking at her, she was looking at Negi. Ahh, yes, she had forgotten that too, no one else should be in the lab...but she had a good reason she did! Still, again she was wrong. Chao had a radiation meter in her hands from her work, and pointed at Negi...the readings were off the charts.

"The hell is he covered in Satomi? Whatever it is, hose him down, it's radioactive!"

It was? Oh. Okay then. However...sensei didn't seem to like that idea. Not one bit. Hose him down? How did they plan on doing that one? He took a cautious step back, and another person appeared in the door, panting.

**"Lingshen-san! Where is Hakase-san? She rushed by our department and knocked over a large supply of experiment 471. The hell was she thinking? Anyone exposed to that could be...ohh...crap."**

Negi locked eyes with the young woman. One covered in goo and the other seeming to break into slime with the sweat. How long had he been like that? Chao though, calmly put down her meter and reached into her pocket, pulling out a remote, indicating Satomi to move out of the way.

Did she have to everything around here?

Nope. For at that moment, a mecha decided to crash through the windows behind all of them with a blast that ripped the remote from her hands, and made Negi turn around, wide eyed, before the thing landed right on top of him, crushing him underneath it and knocking him clean out.

"OH COME ON! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR TREJECTORY PATH!"

Chao only spared Satomi a fervent sideways glance as she unstuck herself from the bench she had forced herself upon. Satomi hadn't even moved, even as her eyes were in danger of being poked out by a spike of armor. Clueless, she stomped her foot.

"JUST THREE MORE FLOORS DAMNIT! The mecha had to do it better, damn."

Chao just shook her head. What could she say?

Honestly, what?

**+-1-+**

_Bodily resistance to disease/toxins...1000% normal rates. Base. (See Add 1 )1200% total._

_Bodily Healing: 10x Base. (See Add. 1) 12x._

_Bodily endurance/tolerance/strength...250% normal rates. Base. (See Add 1) 400% total._

_Mental Acuity...2000% normal rates. (See Add. 2) normal rates. Base. (See Add 1) ? Total__._

_(See Add. 1)...800% normal rates. (See Add. 2). Base._

_Full Body Scan completed...Exposure time estimated at twenty minutes._

_Addendum 1: Subject had an additional boost from an energy source, unknown._

_Addendum 2: Subject tested was originally high placed in this field. Normal rates are not based on subject's original, subject original unknown. Base is average._

**"...All of this and he hasn't mutated? What is he?"**

"You tell me. You're the biologist. I am just a robotics professional."

**"Chao-san..."**

"Lingshen is fine. What the hell is 471 exactly?"

Gritting her teeth, the other screwed up her mouth, but Chao forced her to look in her eyes. This was her teacher...and something more. Not that the other knew that, but still, is something happened to him...what had she come back for?

**"Experiment 471 was created by someone like Hakase-san. Someone qualified for the "Mad-scientist" role. Of course, originally, it was thought to be one of the best inventions he created. Professor...well, they call him Professor Niku. He disappeared after creating this, leaving it with one of his best students to be used in an emergency...it was supposed to be a miracle drug."**

"Miracle drug, hmm? What about this mutation business?"

**"Oh...you heard that huh...oh well. The professor, and his student afterwards...didn't disappear. They...well, I suppose you could say they evolved. This drug, when in close proximity, even if it is contained in anything but real serious business, heals a person of any illness they have. ANY illness. AIDS, Cancer, Herpes, hell, it'll kill Depression and the Common cold...but it optimizes the rest of you while it does this...bringing you closer to biological singularity-"**

"Meaning?"

**"All your body cells can carry out any function needed, and become identical. Any cell in your body could act as a heart or a lung...a brain. When they all become the same, the person essentially morphs into a mass of skin, a "fleshbeast". These things can resist temperatures of up to 1500 degrees Celsius...and around 2 Amperes worth of electrical shock in excess of a hundred thousand volts. They are extremely violent, apparently trying to meld with whatever it can get its...body...on...in an effort to bring them to a point of singularity too, in other words to join with them and become one...but they can't, so they just end up killing the victim."**

"...Right."

**"I'm serious. The fact that this boy hasn't mutated is a miracle in itself. His body size and original condition put him in the overexposure zone with one hell of an after burn, unless previous calculations are dead wrong. That, or he's got some kind of resistance in his genes. Either way, he'll need to be analyzed further by the biology department-"**

"No."

**"...Excuse me?"**

"I said no. This is my teacher, and I won't have him subjected to testing such as yours...you mess with things that go beyond the jurisdiction of the human right. Machines are something we have a right to build and improve, not living things. We should adapt to Nature, not have it adapt to us. Every time we've tried to resist that, we've failed...Leave him be. I'll work with him, and I will tell you If I note anything odd."

The other's hand had been resting on Negi's hip, gripping the sheet covering him. Her face said plainly her need to have Chao let go. She needed to do a full report damnit. She needed to see how his body was affected.

Satomi looked at her oddly. Why was she trying to prevent an examination? It was a perfectly scientific and proper approach to such a situation…Satomi, fearing her partner had gone critically out of line, yanked the sheet from the boy with a swift pull, a movement made almost as an apology and rectification.

Well…that was a sight no one expected to see…is it… supposed to be like that?

**"Well…that's…certainly unexpected…was he always like-"**

"I can't see. I'm not looking, don't ask me."

"I honestly wouldn't know. I've seen…about zero percent of me sensei's naked before, not including this one…"

**"Well, he certainly is well off, and that is not from 471…but this…uhh…"**

"Logic before emotion!"

Chao walked away to let the two bicker over Negi's unconcious form. No way in hell was she going to let herself see that, not when she had a very different ancestorial image in her head...

**+-E-+**

_Well, that wasn't very funny at all. You can tell this took long, and that I was probably trying too hard. Sorry, but I've been dealing with a mind as stiff as a board, not due to lack of practice, but from lack of inspiration. I wanted this chapter to be longer…but nope. I needed to update. Next one I have some things planned, but I suppose I needed to be a bit boring first. So...what happened with Negi, I wonder? I hope no one is thinking naughty...anywho, see ya'll. Finalage out, and disapointed._


End file.
